Birthing a Dream isn’t like going to an ATM machine.
It’s not like on Amazon.com: To get your Dream by Tuesday, order in the next 5 hours and 28 minutes (and click Overnight shipping).
IF it was that easy, it wouldn’t be much of a Dream, would it? That’s why you hardly ever hear anyone say, “My Dream is to get a new purse.” Not really a Dream. And if that is your deepest Dream, you’ve come to the wrong portal.
Fortunately that’s not how Dreams work. At least not in my experience.
And I say fortunately (even though I knew that would bug you) because when we take the time needed for our Dream to find its form, we birth a Dream with heart. With soul. One that takes on a life of its own. The kind of Dream that goes viral, because it’s a living thing. It’s infused and fueled with LifeForce. People can tell the difference. They may not be able to articulate it, but their souls recognize its origin.
Often a Dream has a gestation period, just like most other living things: Birds. Animals. Us.
Our Dream needs time to find its wings.
And rushing it – because we
- are impatient
- afraid it won’t happen if too much time passes
- want to have something quickly to “show” to others
- don’t like anything out of our control
- bought into the idea of overnight success
– can cause a Dream to be stillborn.
The point of our Soul Dream is not just to get the thing we so desperately want. It’s who we become in the process of getting it.
Imagine if Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz would have clicked her heels, or her trackpad, in Act I. She never would have met the Scarecrow, Tin Man or the Lion. She never would have prevailed over the Wicked Witch or encountered the Great Oz. She never would have made a contribution by being of service to others. I don’t know about you, but I want my life to be a narrative – the raw ups and downs, twists and turns. Not the commercial, full of promises of instant gratification. Our story takes time to unfold. The time will pass anyway. The question is: How intentional do you want to be about your story? You can choose the setting. You can choose some of the key characters. You get to choose the Quest.
Or, you can keep flipping channels, watching other people’s stories, downloading apps, diddling around until your 60, 70, 80 and wonder why you never really went for it. The thing that actually mattered. If you never begin, how quick it will take becomes a moot point.
What you really want to know is: How much is this going to cost me? And the answer is: everything. And that’s why you’re stalling.
You may not be able to have your full-blown Dream by Tuesday.
Here’s what I can promise: If you get quiet for 7 consecutive minutes, (that means unplugged!) Look God straight in the eye and with everything you are say, “OK. I’m scared, I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m willing. I’m committed to becoming the most potent version of who I came here to be.”
If you only have 7 minutes to devote (to your whole life’s purpose), spend the first 6 and a half minutes on that first part. Muster as much courage as you have. You don’t have to have everything you need for the journey, but you DO have to give 100 percent of what you have right now.
Now, because I have been right there I know the kinds of negotiations that will start happening in your head. When you say everything, do you mean everything? Because you don’t want this to mess up your marriage. Here’s the thing with that kind of bargaining: you don’t trust God – or the Universe – or whatever Higher Power resonates with you. Think of it this way, if the only way your marriage will survive is by you giving up your Dream, what sort of marriage is it? What you MAY have to give up is the current state of your marriage. What you get in return (for being authentic) is a truer, deeper, richer relationship with yourself and your spouse. With God and with Life.
You can set parameters. You can say I’m willing to give ALL of this, this, this, this, but this stays. You can make those kinds of declarations. And voila! that’s what you get. My experience has been when I ask for small-case xyz, but then give God room to move (This, or something better, I say),
I get capital X,Y,Z in bold italics in a headline font.
If you do that, I am absolutely certain that you can think of three things in the remaining 30 seconds, that you can do in the next 7 days that will take you in the direction of your Dream. You don’t have to quit your job or run off to Timbuktu tomorrow, but you don’t have to give up on your Dream either.
Here are some examples of non-risky steps you can take to get a whiff of your Dream:
• research (what’s the weather like in Timbuktu?)
• clearing space in your life (If I’m going to start a blog, where will I write? Can I carve out an hour on Tuesdays?)
• finding your flock (who else freelances? Is there a Timbuktu Facebook page?)
• brainstorming (seems like idling, but musing about your Dream is a VERY effective way to set things in motion)
• sampling (Can I cook a dish from Timbuktu? Spend an hour just playing with paints?)
You don’t have to tell anyone. In fact, taking a cue from mother birds, it’s smart to hide your embryonic Dream away from prying eyes. Make it so small and so integrated into the rest of your life that nobody else notices. Just like a nest. More importantly, create a nest for it in your Heart. That’s where the real work will get done. Sit with it while it finds its form.
What you’re looking for is an increase in vitality, that feeling of being alive. Heart. Even though you have no idea what the rest of the steps are.
How quickly can you get a whiff of your Dream? 7 minutes. Go!
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Next post I will talk about what to do if you don’t know what you want, but you know what you have ain’t it.